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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176006">Find Me No Find</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HybridOwl/pseuds/HybridOwl'>HybridOwl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Erebor Never Fell, Class Differences, Cultural Differences, Dwarf Culture &amp; Customs, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Female Bilbo Baggins, Female Dori, Female Nori (Tolkien), Female Ori, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, Threesome - F/M/M, eventually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:14:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HybridOwl/pseuds/HybridOwl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a disastrous first marriage that ended abruptly four years ago, a penniless Bella Baggins took up the honorable and well paying trade of matchmaking. She very successfully matched up half the young lovers of The Shire, even venturing as far as Bree to do a touch of work. And then she receives an invitation for her biggest job yet; find a match for the dwarf recently made king of Erebor, Thorin Dragonsbane. </p>
<p>Finding out that the king and his guard are the most beautiful dwarves she’s ever laid eyes on is somewhat of a blow but she can deal with this. She is a professional.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Find Me No Find</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am ignoring my vow to only post stories I'm finished with, because I like this story too much to bother, and it has prevented me from posting anything a all for nearly two years, which is kinda dumb.</p>
<p>This is my first time writing a threesome of any kind, so hopefully I don't wreck that.</p>
<p>Unbeta'd, with tags to be added as the story progresses, so mind that.</p>
<p>Anyway, please enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Matchmaker, Matchmaker, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Make me a match, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Find me a find, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> catch me a catch </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Matchmaker, Matchmaker </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Look through your book, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And make me a perfect match </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- Matchmaker, Fiddler On The Roof</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Balin sighed, rubbing his temples. He was over hot; the servants had stroked the fire into a fury, which matched the temperament of the resident king perfectly. And the mood of Balin’s brother standing by the door was not much better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sire, it isn't as if the council is being entirely unreasonable. With..." Balin hesitated, unsure of how to proceed, before continuing gently "with all that has happened, the kingdom could use some stability. A spouse would do that."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin continued to look down, hands braced on his desk, shoulders tight. He was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke, his voice cracked. "There has yet to be a funeral, and they ask this of me. I have my heir. What more can I give than I already have, Balin?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At this Thorin turned to face his advisor, and Balin saw how worn the other dwarf was, how much older than his age, lost and weary. Balin wanted to hug him like he had when Thorin was but a dwarfling, laughing and running around Erebors halls. But that time had long passed. Now there was a king, who had not smiled in what felt like an age.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I cannot tell you what to do; neither can they." Balin reminded, walking forward to put a hand on Thorins' shoulder, "but it would be good for the kingdom, Thorin, and it could be good for you if you let it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply and letting it out. When he opened his eyes again, he was calm, business like. He pulled away, and went to sit at his desk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Very well." Thorin rumbled, steeping his hands. "So tell me, how will I find this spouse?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Balin gave a grim smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[][][][][][][][]</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As it turns out, Bella is just returning from a wedding when she sees the raven. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The wedding had been magnificent, the brides well matched if she did say so herself, and Bella had been given a place of honor for bringing them together. It was her third wedding in as many weeks, everyone clamoring to be wed in the best weather of spring, and all three had been orchestrated by her trade.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, as the only official matchmaker of The Shire, the only one at all for several hundred miles in each direction, she was reasonably well sought after for her talents. Even her ventures to Bree to match Men had not been enough to decrease her standing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t what she was born to, but she was good at it, and that was enough. It had to be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was just banishing those and other morose thoughts when she sees the raven perched on the picket fence outside of Bag End, larger than any bird Bella had ever seen, with a peculiar intelligence in its eyes and a weather proofed scroll case tied to its leg. When she came closer, it noticed her and gave a tilt of its head in a bow. She curtsied back, manners automatic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good day.” the raven cawed, and Bella barely held back a squeak at finding out it could talk. “Are you Mistress Baggins, matchmaker of Bag End?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bella drew herself up to her full height and full courage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, I am she. Is there anything I can do for you, sir raven?” she asked, and the raven tipped his head back and cawed a couple times; it seemed to be laughing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am no sir. I am Huginn, son of Muninn, daughter of Roäc. I am a raven of Erebor, and I carry a message from there. If you could take my parcel, I will be on my way.” Huginn said, and Bella nodded, then hesitated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Surely it is a long way back, even for a raven as strong-looking as you. Perhaps I could convince you to stay the night, and partake in some of my pantry.” Bella offered, and felt a little silly as the raven simply stared at her, before nodding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That would be most welcome.” Huginn said, “and then I could carry your answer back myself. I noticed that there are no ravens in this place to carry the message back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bella laughed, somewhat hysterically, before reining it in. “Yes, we are quite without messenger ravens. Do come in.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bella opened the front gate and stepped through, expecting Huginn to follow, but he simply held out the leg with the scroll case out first, and Bella felt quite foolish. She stepped forward and unclipped the case, holding off on opening it for the time being until she could get Huginn situated with a large supply of berries and crackers and the yet uncooked fish that Bella had intended to eat for dinner, but decided her guest more deserving of it after the long journey. After the raven was well situated, Bella took the scroll case to her study, opening the case and unrolling the thick parchment. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took her a moment to decode the angular version of westron, but when she did manage the first sentence, she had to sit down. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The king of the dwarven kingdom of Erebor was requesting her services as matchmaker. Shire bless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She reread it to double check, then continued with the rest of the letter, hoping it would provide clarity as to why on earth so far flung a place, so high level of a clientele, was requesting her. And when she reached the answer, she could not bite back her groan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gandalf. Gandalf, that wizard that had provided fireworks last year at her second client's wedding, had vouched for her. She wanted to rip the blasted letter to pieces. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She did not, and instead reread the letter. And then again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the seventh read through, her mind was made up. She would have to say no. Bree was one thing, but across half the continent? The traditions would be entirely different. The language, the people, everything would be different, and how was she supposed to properly matchmake if she had no earthly idea of what was happening most of the time?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, she would have to decline. It was the only option.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nevermind how her heart sung at the idea of an adventure. Nevermind how when she glanced at the books that hadn’t been sold for her late husband's debts, they all spoke of of her childhood of dreaming about seeing the world, traveling the great dwarven road to rivendell and further, further than her little rambles through The Shire had ever taken her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had to say no.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Didn’t she?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[][][][][][][][]</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they received the letter back from the great, wizard approved matchmaker, saying that she would come on the condition that she had an escort, Balin had immediately turned to Dwalin, expectant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.” said Dwalin, glaring. Balin looked over his glasses at his brother, unimpressed. He was rather glad Thorin was out of the room, or this conversation would be even worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I cannae think of anyone but you who could keep so small a creature as a hobbit safe down the great road by yourself. And we cannae send a great number to protect her, as we need a group who will move swiftly enough to have her back before winter truly sets in.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Send the wizard.” Dwaling grumbled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The wizard has already departed for parts unknown.” Balin admitted, rolling his eyes at his brothers sneer of that being typical. Balin sighed, and prepared to hit Dwalin where it hurts. “It has to be you, brother. I know you don’t like leaving our king, but there are other kings guards to defend him. And we need this matchmaker if we are ever to see him smile again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dwalin did not speak for so long that anyone else would assume that he hadn’t heard. But Balin knew his brother, and was patient.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine. when do I leave?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As soon as your bags can be packed and your goodbyes made. I will explain this to the king.” Balin said, and Dwalin snorted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Better you than me.” Dwalin said, and Balin privately agreed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[][][][][][][][]</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Bella sent Huginn away with her reply, she was something of a nervous wreck. She wished she hadn’t sent that letter, wondered wildly if there was some way to take it back. But there wasn’t. So she consoled herself with the promise that she would receive another raven soon with the details, and she could set the record straight then, apologize and step down gracefully. But a month passed, and no raven. Two passed, no raven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the fourth month, with midsummer passing with a flurry of engagements, she had managed to convince herself that they had decided against her services. With that in mind, she had let her guard down, and was complacent as she was making supper one evening when there was a loud knock on the door, louder than any who had been at her door before. Still, she was a Baggins of Bag End, no matter how little was left of it, and would not turn away a guest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt incredibly grateful she hadn't had a chance to change into her night shirt yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She opened the door, smiling her best smile, and felt it freeze on her face as she saw the great mammoth of a dwarf standing before her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right. So not checking in with the details, then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dwalin, at your service.” the dwarf said, giving the slightest bow, and Bella automatically curtsied back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bella Baggins, at yours.” she said, and managed to get her body to move out of the way of the door. “Won’t you come in?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dwalin did not say another word, simply coming straight in, sniffing, and following the smell towards the kitchen. Bella held back an undignified squawk at his speed, at the thought of him looking past the well presented front of the house to the nearly bare back of the house, but was unable to match his stride, only able to catch up in time to see him about to stick his finger into the chicken in the frying pan. This time she did squawk, unthinkingly grabbing a wooden spoon and rapping his tattooed knuckles with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s not ready yet!” Bella half yelled sternly, and only flushed when Dwalin turned to look at her, face unreadable. Bella cleared her throat. “And there isn’t enough, besides. I wasn’t expecting company. Please go to the dining room, and I will make more food for us both. Unless there is going to be more of you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She asked the last part hesitantly, trying to imagine feeding more than one unexpected guest from her shamefully empty pantry, but the dwarf shook his head, slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just me.” Dwalin said, gruff. Bella thought she did well hiding her relief, but she must not have, because Dwalin continued, taking a step back and dropping into a stance with his hands behind his back, not looking at her. “I can stay at the inn, if you’d prefer.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She very much would prefer; she hadn’t had a man alone in her house since her late husband was found dead in a ditch on the way back from Bree, and even having him around had been a series of unpleasant experiences. But she knew, instinctually, that this dwarf wasn’t like that. He may look tough, but just his behavior now was that of someone who was trying very hard not to intimidate her despite being several heads taller and almost twice as broad, to allow her the space to make her own choice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a welcome change. She squared her shoulders, cleared her throat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That will be unnecessary. As I said, I just need to make enough for us both.” She said with finality. “After supper, I’ll get you set up with the bath and a room, and- and I will make sure that I am ready to leave as soon as possible tomorrow morning, though I will have to leave a few letters, and gather my things, and ask someone to watch Bag End-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt her voice gow fainter as she went on, until she was nearly whispering, but she couldn’t help herself. This whole experience was so sudden, and so flustering. She was so locked into her own mind that she barely heard Dwalin’s words, and had to look sheepishly up and ask “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you please repeat it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll help.” Dwalin said again, voice still gruff but she could tell he was trying not to be. He didn’t continue, but those words were enough to calm Bella’s racing heart considerably. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had no doubt Dwalin would help her, as much as he could. She nodded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right. Right then. Okay, just go into the dining room, and I’ll start making-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you need?” Dwalin asked, and when Bella started to open her mouth to say she didn’t need help cooking, it was fine, go to the dining room, Dwalin raised an eyebrow. Bella deflated slightly. She didn’t want him to see her house, the shell that was left of her parent’s grand home, but there seemed to be no choice without being terribly rude.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you could get two cups of flour, and a bit of cheese, I can start making us some quick cheesy biscuits to go with the chicken, and anything else you’re hungry for that you would like me to make, really. Salad?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dwalin scrunched up his face, and Bella dipped her head to hide her smile. “Not salad, then. But the flour and cheese would be very helpful.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dwalin nodded, and left for the pantry. Bella went to poking at the chicken, turning it just in time to stop the part on the pan from burning after being left to sit for so long. She was thinking about what else to make when Dwalin came back in, and with two thumps put the heavy, three stone bag of flour on the floor, and the entire wheel of cheese on the counter, looking rather unaffected by a weight Bella would find impossible to lift. Bella felt her mouth drop open quite unattractively, before clearing her throat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, Master Dwalin.” she smiled at him, and he nodded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They worked together after that, Dwalin not knowing how to measure flour or grate cheese but more than willing to learn, a near silent, supportive presence. Soon they were eating supper together, quietly but happily, when Dwalin asked “Why did you become a matchmaker?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-, oh, that is a long story. And not one that is necessarily good for supper conversation.” Bella demurred, but Dwalin continued to look at her, not eating, until she sighed. “My husband died.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My condolences.” Dwalin murmured, but Bella shook her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s alright now. It has been a long time, and it was a poor match, Though I did not realize that at the start. When he died, I was left without very much to my name, and a desire that no one should end up like- like I did. So I returned to my maiden name, and became a matchmaker. I like to think I’m a fair hand at it. And a matchmaker is not expected to remarry, in fact the opposite. It suits me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were silent for a long moment, Bella regretting taking the mood down so handily and Dwalin unreadable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I like the biscuits.” Dwalin said, voice stilted, and Bella smiled at him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, Master Dwalin.” she said, tucking a loose curl behind one ear. Dwalin’s eyes seemed to follow the movement, before looking away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re welcome, Mistress Matchmaker.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[][][][][][][][]</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sire!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin does not look up when councilman Alekin strides in, instead continue to look over the paperwork in front of him. The revitalization project of the soon to be former slums was well underway, but they were having some trouble with the piping...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"My king, I demand your attention!" That caused Thorin to stop, and looked up at Alekin, fixing him with a withering stare, saying nothing. Alekin wilted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sire. This is the fifth candidate you have rejected, and a noble from the iron mountains no less. There was nothing wrong with her."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin raised an eyebrow. Alekin squirmed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Alright, so she wasn't the nicest of individuals-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"When I spoke of my projects to help the mountain, she asked why I was 'wasting my money on those disgusting commoners.'" Thorin pointed out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And said I was lucky I was rich and powerful because my face was less than desirable."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"-But she would be so good policially, and she needn't have any real say in the policies of the kingdom. and the others you rejected were not as bad as her." Alekin plowed on, determined but clearly whining. Thorin refused to rub his temples from the headache that was coming on. He wouldn't show weakness to this idiot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"There are some fourteen other candidates already in Erebor, Alekin, and there is no telling how many others will come. The matchmaker has not even made it to our gates yet. But I will tell her what I tell you now; If I am to be offered up like a hunk of meat, I would like to at least not hate the person who sticks a fork in me." Thorin said, and went back to his work, ignoring Alekins spluttering. After a while of being ignored, Alekin huffed, and with a swoosh of his robes departed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With no one else in the room, the guard that stood in for Dwalin for the journey standing outside rather than just inside like Dwalin had, Thorin allowed himself to sit back in his chair, rubbing his temples.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Am I being too picky?" Thorin asked himself wearily. He imagined what Dwalin would say about the whole affair, smiling as his imagined friend pointed out his main rules were 'will not wreck the kingdom,' and 'is not a complete idiot,' and those were more than fair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mahal, Thorin missed him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There were loud footsteps outside the room, and yelling; Thorin recognized the voices, and the guard outside didn't bother stopping Kili and Fili from bursting in, half wrestling with each other as they ran.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Uncle!" Kili said, shoving Fili. "the-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"The matchmaker is here!" Fili said, cutting Kili off by putting him in a headlock.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin raised an eyebrow. Fili and Kili let each other go, looking sheepish. Satisfied, Thorin stood, brushing off his unnecessarily fancy clothes. Oh how he missed when he was just a princeling, and could go on hunting excursions without half the blasted mountain coming with. Where nobody but Dwalin could judge him, though judge Dwalin did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you going to meet her?” Kili asked, surprised. “She’s very pretty, for a halfling, but-”<br/><br/>Thorin cut Kili off, filing away that Kili thought the halfling was attractive. “I am going to greet Dwalin. If Mistress Baggins is still with him, which is doubtful, then I will meet her too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll come too!” Fili said enthusiastically, then coughed at Thorin’s look. “If it pleases you, uncle.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin sighed, but did not say anything when he left and they followed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It did not take long to find out where Dwalin had gone, though Thorin was surprised to hear that he was seeing to the matchmakers settling in personally, taking her things to her rooms himself and leading her there like a- like a porter, not the leader of the kings guard, not like the kings most loyal and trusted companion. Thorin felt his hackles internally rise like a dog who smelled a rival, but shoved it down. Perhaps there was a good reason for all this. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they rounded the corner, to the door, Kili all but galloped forward to knock. there was a brief pause, a murmur from the other side, before Dwalin’s familiar voice called out “enter.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The brothers ‘li needed no further incentive, Kili pushing the door open and rushing in and Fili rushing only slightly more sedately behind him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dwalin!” Kili cheered, coming forward to headbutt his combat teacher. Dwalin snorted, grinning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aye, you rascal. Thought I was gone for good did you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never. No one could take you out.” Fili said, coming to give Dwalin a headbutt as well, then turning back to look at Thorin with a little confusion, probably as to why he hadn’t made his way in yet. Thorin followed his nephews in at that, calm and regal, and didn’t have to look long before he saw the hobbit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was small, like all of her race, with long curly hair tied back with a ribbon. Her clothes were slightly battered from the road, but her face and hands were clean like she had washed them, and she wore nothing on her feet. She was pretty enough, Thorin supposed, if one was inclined towards it. And a quick glance at Dwalin, standing close to the halfling, revealed that Thorin's friend was so inclined. Thorin saw how Dwalin looked between the two of them, expression fond. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The halfling made a small, unreadable noise, and Dwalin stopped looking between them, coughing almost sheepishly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thorin, Fili, Kili, this is Mistress Baggins, Matchmaker and heir to Bag End. Bella, this is Thorin Dragonsbane, king of Erebor and his heirs, prince Fili and prince Kili.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin’s chest squeezed at Dwalin calling her Bella, even as his heirs gave small bows and Mistress Baggins gave a deep curtsy, only belatedly realizing he’d missed the chance to bow himself. Now that the moment had passed however, he finds he is not regretful. He does find that there is rage in his heart at this small creature, a rage he cannot find the source of.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So he opens his mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She looks more like a grocer than a matchmaker.” he hears himself say, feels himself sneer ever so slightly, and revels in the taken aback look the halfling took on. He does not dare look at his nephews, who are sure to be looking surprised, or at Dwalin, whose expression Thorin cannot hope to contemplate. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What he does not expect is for Mistress Baggins face to go from taken aback to stubborn in a matter of seconds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what should a matchmaker look like, oh king?” Her voice is just this side of polite, musical and lilting, and Thorin does not care for it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sure I don’t know. But a halfling child like yourself-” he says, condescension clear in his voice, when she interrupts him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Should I be crone to merit your respect, or is it simply that my kind tend towards making things that can actually be eaten rather than pretty jewelry?” she fires at him, and Thorin found himself taken aback, mouth open. He had never had someone speak to him that way, not even Dwalin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Speaking of, he hears a snort, and turns to see Dwalin smiling at the halfling, amused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have never heard you speak that way, little one.” Dwalin said, and that seemed to bring Mistress Baggins back from her fury, and she blushed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I- I’ve never had cause to say such in front of you, I suppose. No call to speak to a gentleman that way.” she said the last with a pointed look at Thorin, then straightens her coat, clears her throat, and looks back at Thorin head on. “I’m afraid we’ve started off on the wrong foot. Dwalin has had nothing but good things to say about you, all of you, and I hope to find you good matches. Now, I would like to freshen up a bit, so if you’ll excuse me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She curtsied stiffly, and Kili and Fili, bewildered, gave returning bows. She pointed a brief, tight smile to Dwalin, before going into the bathroom portion of the suite that Dwalin had set her up in. A suite just four doors down and across the hall from Dwalins own. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thorin’s head was going to explode.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, everyone out.” Dwalin said gruffly, ushering the royals out of the room. He turned to Fili and Kili. “Tell Balin that the matchmaker would like to set up a meeting.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why-” Kili started, but Fili shushed him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes Dwalin.” Fili said, and then dragged a still protesting Kili away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dwalin then turned to Thorin, nodding his head towards his rooms, and Thorin followed Dwalin to them. Once the doors were shut behind them, Dwalin turned to Thorin, arms crossed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was that.” Dwalin said, not so much a question as a demand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t like her. She’s rude, unprofessional-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bit like you, then.” Dwalin interrupted, and Thorin scoffed, beginning to pace the room, jaw clenched shut on the things he wanted to say. After a few passes, Dwalin grabbed him and stopped his movements, making Thorin meet his eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s sworn off all men, Thorin. Of any race.” Dwalin said, his voice steady and unyielding as his hand on Thorin’s arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But if she hadn’t, you would seek her company. Her courtship.” Thorin said, deeply surprised when Dwalin didn’t deny it. He pulled his arm away, suddenly cold. Dwalin sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She is good at her job. Allow her to do it, and she will go home. Don’t hurt her.” Dwalin said, leaving the room and leaving Thorin to stew. </p>
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